Monday, December 03, 2007
Friday, November 30, 2007
Ugh...
Status report...
I know I said I was going to turn in my resignation the other day, but after talking with my parents, I decided to wait until the 19th. That was S. has less time to make my life miserable should she decide to get vindictive.
In other news, though, I applied to another job. It's a state senate assistant position in Boston... I'm hesitant to just from the frying pan to the fire just to get out of this job, but if this job has decent hours, decent pay and... decent hours, and (Dear God, Please) if they offer it to me... I just may take it. Since I decided to stay a few weeks ago, I said that in order to leave early, I'd have to get a better job.
I'd be working at the State House... I could live on Beacon Hill again... I could leave work at 5.... not come in Saturday... Not come in Sunday...
I know I said I was going to turn in my resignation the other day, but after talking with my parents, I decided to wait until the 19th. That was S. has less time to make my life miserable should she decide to get vindictive.
In other news, though, I applied to another job. It's a state senate assistant position in Boston... I'm hesitant to just from the frying pan to the fire just to get out of this job, but if this job has decent hours, decent pay and... decent hours, and (Dear God, Please) if they offer it to me... I just may take it. Since I decided to stay a few weeks ago, I said that in order to leave early, I'd have to get a better job.
I'd be working at the State House... I could live on Beacon Hill again... I could leave work at 5.... not come in Saturday... Not come in Sunday...
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Oh My God
The Universe HAS heard my toiled wailing AND ANSWERED:
Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 - Mar 20)
You want to be appreciated on the job, yet others seem more interested in your performance than who you truly are. This is a source of frustration for you, especially if you are a productive person. Instead of getting yourself all worked up over it, let it go for now. You can open the door to more intimate communication in the future by demonstrating your efficiency today
From Yahoo.com... they really are psychic.
Pisces Horoscope (Feb 19 - Mar 20)
You want to be appreciated on the job, yet others seem more interested in your performance than who you truly are. This is a source of frustration for you, especially if you are a productive person. Instead of getting yourself all worked up over it, let it go for now. You can open the door to more intimate communication in the future by demonstrating your efficiency today
From Yahoo.com... they really are psychic.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Call-time blog...
6:30... been calling for about 4 hours... notha 3 left. I'm the only one in the office. Gonna take it a little easy.
Just talked to a woman who was really into the issue, and she'll be coming to an event we have coming up. I really like that part of the job. If only I could do that for 8 hours a day.... rather than 13.
But what would I do without the internet? Oh, what a life-changing invention. Cannot imagine life without.
And this adorable pic of Julsie with her pumpkin. I have it framed and sitting in front of me. It radiates joy :)
this 53rd day is almost the 52nd. Get to go home tonight and have a Sam Adams and chat with my roommate, maybe pick up a little, then tomorrow get to turn in my resignation (albeit for after the caucuses)
I've been taking St. John's wort for the past couple days. I wonder if that's been helping?
I'm still not happy, but I didn't cry yesterday or today. On a roll...
Just talked to a woman who was really into the issue, and she'll be coming to an event we have coming up. I really like that part of the job. If only I could do that for 8 hours a day.... rather than 13.
But what would I do without the internet? Oh, what a life-changing invention. Cannot imagine life without.
And this adorable pic of Julsie with her pumpkin. I have it framed and sitting in front of me. It radiates joy :)
this 53rd day is almost the 52nd. Get to go home tonight and have a Sam Adams and chat with my roommate, maybe pick up a little, then tomorrow get to turn in my resignation (albeit for after the caucuses)
I've been taking St. John's wort for the past couple days. I wonder if that's been helping?
I'm still not happy, but I didn't cry yesterday or today. On a roll...
Post post post
You can tell what kind of day I'm having by how many blog postings I make each day- yesterday therefore was pretty good, since I didn't make any ;) Yesterday I did some data entry in the AM and listened to This American Life on my laptop, had a staff meeting at 2 and most of it was about scheduling mock caucuses and house parties, which is one part of the job that I like. Looks like we'll be doing a lot of those this months. And then I went to Pahrump, which I always enjoy, they are so friendly and easy to organize.
Today.... well, i'll keep you posted.
UPDATE:
I was talking to my boss Andy about my plans after the caucus, and I asked him if Samantha had any idea that I was going to be leaving after the caucuses. He said he didn't know, but I had probably better tell her before things get too crazy. So, since she's at home today, I'm going to tell her tomorrow of my post-caucus plans. YAY.
:)
Today.... well, i'll keep you posted.
UPDATE:
I was talking to my boss Andy about my plans after the caucus, and I asked him if Samantha had any idea that I was going to be leaving after the caucuses. He said he didn't know, but I had probably better tell her before things get too crazy. So, since she's at home today, I'm going to tell her tomorrow of my post-caucus plans. YAY.
:)
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Interesting article...
Here's the about.com Top 10 list on "when to quit", along with my comments:
Your company is experiencing a downward spiral, losing customers, losing money, and rumors of possible closure, bankruptcy and failure prevail.
Your relationship with your manager is damaged beyond repair. You have sought help to mend the relationship but you know it is too damaged for recovery. (Perhaps you were untrustworthy, missed work on too many days, or the manager acts like an untrustworthy jerk.) Whatever the reason, the relationship is irrecoverably damaged.
Your life situation has changed. Perhaps you have married or had a baby, and the salary and benefits no longer support your life needs.
Your values are at odds with the corporate culture. Perhaps your company is egalitarian and you believe in assigned parking spots for salaried employees. Your company does annual employee satisfaction surveys and you think these are a waste of time. Your company is hierarchical and you want to influence every aspect of your job. No matter where the clash is occurring, a lack of congruence with the corporate culture will destroy your attitude at work.
You've stopped having fun and enjoying your job. No matter what changed, when you dread going to work in the morning, it's time to quit your job.
Completely agree with this one. Even the fun things aren't fun.
Your company is ethically challenged. Perhaps the managers lie to customers about the quality of the products or the day on which the product will ship. You become aware that the company is stealing information from competitors. Whatever the issue, don't stay in an organization where your ethics are out of sync.
Again, I completely agree. It's disgusting that I work for Nevada for Health Care, a project of the world's largest health care union, and I still have not gotten my health insurance card yet and am asked to work these impossible hours without overtime. Incredible.
For whatever reason, you have behaved in ways that are considered improper at work. You've missed too many days of work, slacked off on the job, failed to maintain needed skills, and / or just generally developed the reputation of a loser. That reputation, once earned, is unlikely to change; you might as well quit your job, while you have the opportunity.
You've burned your bridges with your coworkers. Your group is not getting along in an environment that requires people to work together well. Again, at some point, the reasons don't matter; start fresh in a new job and resolve to not let this situation happen again.
Your stress level is so high at work that it is affecting your physical or mental health and your relationships with your friends and family. Watch for the signs of burnout and if they can't be cured, move on.
Again, agree... It's the ache... and the numb patch by my shoulderblade. Just constant
And the top ten reason to quit your job? You are unchallenged, need more responsibility, and seek opportunities that just don't exist for you in your current organization. You've explored the current and potential options, and they are limited. It's time to quit your job.
I think the biggest thing for me is the ethical challenge... They're really slimy. I came in today and thought, Why am I spending another minute at this place?
And the reason is I feel a. like I'm looking for an excuse to quit and feel guilty about that, b. that my parents would be disappointed in me if I quit and c. that I would feel ashamed if I quit.
I don't know how to weigh these pros and cons. Guess I'll take it one day at at time, and know that I have that resignation in my pocket.
In the end, I'm the only one who can make these decisions...
Your company is experiencing a downward spiral, losing customers, losing money, and rumors of possible closure, bankruptcy and failure prevail.
Your relationship with your manager is damaged beyond repair. You have sought help to mend the relationship but you know it is too damaged for recovery. (Perhaps you were untrustworthy, missed work on too many days, or the manager acts like an untrustworthy jerk.) Whatever the reason, the relationship is irrecoverably damaged.
Your life situation has changed. Perhaps you have married or had a baby, and the salary and benefits no longer support your life needs.
Your values are at odds with the corporate culture. Perhaps your company is egalitarian and you believe in assigned parking spots for salaried employees. Your company does annual employee satisfaction surveys and you think these are a waste of time. Your company is hierarchical and you want to influence every aspect of your job. No matter where the clash is occurring, a lack of congruence with the corporate culture will destroy your attitude at work.
You've stopped having fun and enjoying your job. No matter what changed, when you dread going to work in the morning, it's time to quit your job.
Completely agree with this one. Even the fun things aren't fun.
Your company is ethically challenged. Perhaps the managers lie to customers about the quality of the products or the day on which the product will ship. You become aware that the company is stealing information from competitors. Whatever the issue, don't stay in an organization where your ethics are out of sync.
Again, I completely agree. It's disgusting that I work for Nevada for Health Care, a project of the world's largest health care union, and I still have not gotten my health insurance card yet and am asked to work these impossible hours without overtime. Incredible.
For whatever reason, you have behaved in ways that are considered improper at work. You've missed too many days of work, slacked off on the job, failed to maintain needed skills, and / or just generally developed the reputation of a loser. That reputation, once earned, is unlikely to change; you might as well quit your job, while you have the opportunity.
You've burned your bridges with your coworkers. Your group is not getting along in an environment that requires people to work together well. Again, at some point, the reasons don't matter; start fresh in a new job and resolve to not let this situation happen again.
Your stress level is so high at work that it is affecting your physical or mental health and your relationships with your friends and family. Watch for the signs of burnout and if they can't be cured, move on.
Again, agree... It's the ache... and the numb patch by my shoulderblade. Just constant
And the top ten reason to quit your job? You are unchallenged, need more responsibility, and seek opportunities that just don't exist for you in your current organization. You've explored the current and potential options, and they are limited. It's time to quit your job.
I think the biggest thing for me is the ethical challenge... They're really slimy. I came in today and thought, Why am I spending another minute at this place?
And the reason is I feel a. like I'm looking for an excuse to quit and feel guilty about that, b. that my parents would be disappointed in me if I quit and c. that I would feel ashamed if I quit.
I don't know how to weigh these pros and cons. Guess I'll take it one day at at time, and know that I have that resignation in my pocket.
In the end, I'm the only one who can make these decisions...
I can't believe I'm back here...
... doing calls again. Actually, I can't believe I made it to Thanksgiving. Minor miracles. Anyways, thanksgiving (at least the times when I could relax and forget about work), was wonderful. It was so refreshing to realize that there is a world outside of work! That normal people don't live like vampires. I really don't have that long left here. It also highlighted how much I've changed and missed out on.
But I did spend some time thinking about my future...
My plan at the moment is this:
After January 19th (exact date tbd), I'll pack up my stuff and drive up to San Mateo and stay with my parents. I'll get a temp job lasting about 3 months or so, and while I do that I'll take 2 online courses from the College of San Mateo- beginning grantwriting and nonprofit management. And I'll set a date after my job ends to move back to Boston, and I can start working on getting C.U.R.E.D. off the ground.
It's a thing of beauty.
I've also decided that once I get settled in Boston next spring/summer I'm going to start seeing a counselor. I've just been having these problems that I'm having trouble dealing with... I need to find better ways of responding to certain situations. This is really hard for me. I mean, it would be hard for anyone, but I think that it's especially hard for me because I am a perfectionist when it comes to work, and I take it very personally when things go wrong (even if it's not my fault)
In the meantime, I need to make this easier.
I met a guy the other day. Very sweet. That might help ;)
This blog also seems to do me good.
Packing. Gets me out of here quicker.
Talking about concrete plans for the future- the classes, the temp job. Things that are actually going to happen SOON.
Vitamins. Heh, a few weeks ago I sorted out one vitamin for every day we had left. I take one every day at 2 to remind me that every day I get stronger and closer to the end.
Pictures of Juliette.... :D
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus... Must get to church every week (DESPITE what they tell me... )
I'll post this... and will most likely write more later.
More:
I did write that letter of resignation. I wrote it "as of today" and it's undated- I can add that at the time.
I so want to use it but... I'd feel guilty, because my parents think I can make it and Jess asked me to stay on. Better not think about it.
Ugh, I just can't stand having to cheerlead myself through the day!
Crying again... Would you be disappointed in me if I quit?
But I did spend some time thinking about my future...
My plan at the moment is this:
After January 19th (exact date tbd), I'll pack up my stuff and drive up to San Mateo and stay with my parents. I'll get a temp job lasting about 3 months or so, and while I do that I'll take 2 online courses from the College of San Mateo- beginning grantwriting and nonprofit management. And I'll set a date after my job ends to move back to Boston, and I can start working on getting C.U.R.E.D. off the ground.
It's a thing of beauty.
I've also decided that once I get settled in Boston next spring/summer I'm going to start seeing a counselor. I've just been having these problems that I'm having trouble dealing with... I need to find better ways of responding to certain situations. This is really hard for me. I mean, it would be hard for anyone, but I think that it's especially hard for me because I am a perfectionist when it comes to work, and I take it very personally when things go wrong (even if it's not my fault)
In the meantime, I need to make this easier.
I met a guy the other day. Very sweet. That might help ;)
This blog also seems to do me good.
Packing. Gets me out of here quicker.
Talking about concrete plans for the future- the classes, the temp job. Things that are actually going to happen SOON.
Vitamins. Heh, a few weeks ago I sorted out one vitamin for every day we had left. I take one every day at 2 to remind me that every day I get stronger and closer to the end.
Pictures of Juliette.... :D
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus... Must get to church every week (DESPITE what they tell me... )
I'll post this... and will most likely write more later.
More:
I did write that letter of resignation. I wrote it "as of today" and it's undated- I can add that at the time.
I so want to use it but... I'd feel guilty, because my parents think I can make it and Jess asked me to stay on. Better not think about it.
Ugh, I just can't stand having to cheerlead myself through the day!
Crying again... Would you be disappointed in me if I quit?
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
A little better
Today is shaping up a little better than yesterday was. It's still early- usually nights are worse for me- but I take times like this as they come. I appreciate all the feedback from you guys, as well as all the support. It really does help to know that other people out there feel for me.
Days like this make me think that maybe I could slog through till January. Maybe things will be different in December. November was unique because we had our big rural tour last week , the debates this week, and Thanksgiving next week. But december it looks like calling and house parties. The plan I formulated when I woke up this morning was to get through this week, take TG to formulate my letter of resignation, and turn it in on Monday giving one week's notice. And I guess that still is my plan. But it is my perogative... I could just come back to work with that letter in my back pocket to see if things get bad again.
Then again, why would I want to stay any longer with a place that won't let me go to church if we have an event? Who didn't try to stop me or work something out when I mentioned I might quit?
It's later in the day now and I'm actually feeling kind of good because Jess is here from Reno. She's just as miserable as I am and has actually been here longer. We were talking about how miserable we are... and she said that if I could stay through to the end, I should. We went out to look for folders for press packets during call time and at first we were like, will we get in trouble? And then we were like, well, what will they do- fire us? We were ok. She and Andy are staying at the El Cortez... one of my fav. spots in Vegas, so I might hang with them there tonight.
Maybe I'll keep that letter in my back pocket.
Days like this make me think that maybe I could slog through till January. Maybe things will be different in December. November was unique because we had our big rural tour last week , the debates this week, and Thanksgiving next week. But december it looks like calling and house parties. The plan I formulated when I woke up this morning was to get through this week, take TG to formulate my letter of resignation, and turn it in on Monday giving one week's notice. And I guess that still is my plan. But it is my perogative... I could just come back to work with that letter in my back pocket to see if things get bad again.
Then again, why would I want to stay any longer with a place that won't let me go to church if we have an event? Who didn't try to stop me or work something out when I mentioned I might quit?
It's later in the day now and I'm actually feeling kind of good because Jess is here from Reno. She's just as miserable as I am and has actually been here longer. We were talking about how miserable we are... and she said that if I could stay through to the end, I should. We went out to look for folders for press packets during call time and at first we were like, will we get in trouble? And then we were like, well, what will they do- fire us? We were ok. She and Andy are staying at the El Cortez... one of my fav. spots in Vegas, so I might hang with them there tonight.
Maybe I'll keep that letter in my back pocket.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)